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The Father Factor: Conflicting trends: More absenteeism, but also more closeness

By COLLEEN MCCULLOUGH

February 22, 2007, The Phoenixville News (USA)---In some ways it's like a modern, re-worked version of a classic movie or novel. And while some people rave about the modern version, others remain loyal to tradition. For families in America, some are experiencing and practicing new ideas about the involvement of fathers. And yet, for many, fathers continue to remain an enigma, because of their absence, to many children.

"In many ways it's the best and worst of times for fathers in America," Vincent DiCaro, Director of Public Affairs with the National Fatherhood Initiative, said. On the one hand, there are record numbers of children without father figures - 24 million or one out of three - in the United States. And yet, on the other hand, there's more involvement and increased interest in complete fatherhood today than ever before.

"There's a new paradigm on what being involved in fatherhood means," DiCaro said. "Today there's a more holistic approach."
That approach includes nurturing, providing, and being involved in daily activities. "When kids are exposed to all of these things it has enormous benefits," DiCaro said. "It affects their cognitive and emotional well being, and increases self-esteem."
But this new, holistic approach to fatherhood can create confusion for mothers, fathers, and children. Mothers wonder if, and how, they should be involved with fathers stepping into these new roles. And fathers wonder what is expected of them.

"For mothers having a child is biological," DiCaro said. "For fathers it's more cultural. Instead of looking for biological cues, often they're looking for cultural ones."

The media, DiCaro said, has a huge impact on how fathers are seen. And it affects how children view their fathers.

"Look at popular TV sitcoms and movies. The men don't need to be responsible. Usually they're one of the kids that the mother has to discipline. Kids wonder if the father is their dad or brother," DiCaro said.

But worse than debating about a present father's role is dealing with the issues of having an absent one. Data shows a direct correlation between father absence and poverty, maternal and child health, incarceration, crime, teen pregnancy, child abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, education, and childhood obesity. Some statistics include:

• Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor. And a child with a nonresidential father is 54 percent more likely to be poorer than his or her father.
• Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect.
• Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent households with a poor relationship with their father are 68 percent more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households.
• Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school. In 2001, 61 percent of three- to five-year-olds living with two parents were read aloud to everyday by a family member, compared to the 48 percent of children living in single or no parent families.

"Growing up fatherless contributes to social ills," DiCaro said. "Kids without dads carry social problems throughout their lifetime. It leaves a negative legacy." An inter-generational cycle of crime often develops with children who have a father in prison. Those children are more likely to end in prison and commit crimes.

To end these negative cycles perpetuated by absent fathers, the National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) is working to educate, equip, and engage different areas of society. NFI focuses on the three pillars of society - government, business, and faith. "We want to engage the pillars of society again," DiCaro said. "All sectors need to be involved in renewing the father."

To do this, they have created programs for incarcerated fathers, meeting with fathers at their businesses, military fathers, and more. "Our mission is to increase the well being of children by increasing the proportion with involved, responsible, and committed fathers," DiCaro said.

But that goal could take a long time to achieve. "This is a complicated issue," DiCaro said. "It happened over four decades and affected all sectors of society. Many of the issues are still unknown. It might take years to see a change in this. Reversing a social trend is incredibly hard."