http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/01/AR2007030101679.html

Fathers Tackle Tough Topics at Symposium
Programs Offer Support, Events and Counseling

By Robert E. Pierre, Washington Post Staff Writer

March 2, 2007, The Washington Post (USA)---Julius McCrae and Marlowe St. Clair know each other from a fatherhood group they attend every Tuesday evening. But their situations could not be more different. McCrae sees his daughter several times a week. St. Clair has not seen his daughter in more than three years.

They were among several dozen fathers who showed up at Catholic University yesterday to discuss with social workers issues such as parental rights, child abuse and neglect. The symposium was sponsored by Catholic Community Services and the Washington Parent Education Collaborative.

Since the 1970s, recognition has increased among policymakers that children who grow up without a father figure face a host of problems. In homes where a father is present, children are less likely to commit crimes or develop behavioral problems, said Christophe Beard of the National Fatherhood Institute in Gaithersburg.

As a result, programs focusing on fathers have blossomed. Reflecting a national movement to get fathers connected with their children, the District recently received $1.4 million in federal money to fund 28 new fatherhood initiatives across the city. Some programs offer counseling and opportunities such as field trips and dinners that children and fathers can attend together. Others are informational to ensure that fathers know their rights.

Yesterday, the questions were endless: How do I become a legal guardian? Does child support continue if you are in jail? What is the difference between legal and physical custody? Is it too late to get my name on the birth certificate?

"No," attorney James Bishop of Catholic Community Services said in response to the last question. Other inquiries were so complex (How do I find out where my child's mother has taken her?) that he waited until after the meeting to discuss them. But his main message to fathers with tenuous relationships with the mothers of their children was to do everything by the book: Make support payments on time. Use a check because it provides a record. Notify the court of any changes in employment or financial status.

"If you lose your job, file a motion to modify your child support," he said. "Don't just think it's going to go away."

Drena Reaves-Bey, a participant in the forum who works on fatherhood initiatives, said that fathers are not the only ones who have work to do.

"There are too many women who don't feel the father is a valid, important part of raising the child," said Reeves-Bey, 61. "That's dangerous. Fathers are absolutely critical, and women need to understand that."

St. Clair, 19, said he has heard that his 4-year-old daughter is okay and is living down south. But he has no way to know for sure, he said, because the child's mother keeps moving. A senior at Anacostia High School, St. Clair lives in a respite house run by Covenant House Washington and attends a group rap session devoted to young fathers every Tuesday night.

"It's like counseling," he said. "At first I felt like a lost soul. I didn't know what to do, how to approach things, how to approach this situation."

Yesterday, he was getting pointers on how to locate his daughter as he soaked up knowledge from the more experienced dads. One of them was McCrae, 20, who often brings his daughter, 1-year-old Jayla Jones. At Tuesday's meeting, she climbed on and off her father's lap, picking up one toy, then another, before falling asleep on her father's chest.

McCrae said he's lucky. "I get to see her basically whenever I want," he said. Still, he was there yesterday, asking questions and trying to grow.

"I'm learning things I didn't know," he said.